I’ve been up for hours, well before dawn, on this day that eclipses others. (See what I did there? Hehe.) Now, as the sun and moon move out of each other’s way, I find I am beyond weary. My lids are heavy and while my heart is not, I’m fighting back tears for what seems the zillionth time of late. When I open my eyes, time has leapt ahead. (No, I did not doze off.) It is after 12 and for the third time today, I see double numbers. First 10:10, then 11:11 and now it is 12:12. I am not alone, so say the numbers and it makes sense then that I should have a heart to heart with the collective of which I am the centre. I’m going to remind myself and anyone listening that enough is enough.
From this moment forward, I intend a different life. No more of this wishy-washy stuff. Have you ever done that? Sort of grabbed yourself by the proverbial arse and said “NO MORE”. Of course I’ll waiver an hour from now, but with each attempt to dig in, I think I’m helping myself deepen my resolve overall and make my way clearer. I’m certainly clearer about what I do NOT want. I just need to visualize what I do want and make that my permanent vision. In the meantime, I’m going to pretend I’m there.
Yesterday I met a woman whose life I admire. We’re nothing alike – or rather we were nothing alike because with the exception of two variables we’ve many similarities now. One of the variables is that she has the freedom and security afforded by money. Unlike many woman, she is self-made as well, her wealth the result of her success. She told me she achieved by pretending. When she doubted herself, she pretended. That strategy worked well for her and I like it, so I’m going to pretend.
I’m going to pretend I’m a successful writer who is making a living with her stories. I’m going to pretend I have a home. I’m going to pretend “Just for Today” is fully operational. I’m going to pretend I am okay. And I believe if I pretend with bravery and courage, I’ll be okay – eventually.
So my wish is for the confidence to pretend. Pretend wisely, pretend with valour. Pretend you are looking at a new earth, cherished and healthy. Pretend all peoples are fed and housed, healthy in mind and body. Pretend there is peace. Pretend you are happy, pretend you love and are loved. Pretend you are grateful. Pretend for no one else but yourself so that you can be the most you can be. Keep pretending with your head held high. Pretend and see what happens.