I want to talk to you tonight about breaking. Breaking apart, breaking up, and breaking down. Breaking the silence, breaking the glass ceiling, or breaking through are all necessities in this game we’re living. How we manage all this breaking is up to us. There’s no escaping it, by the way, there’s only surviving. And that’s what it’s all about.
When life throws a pile of shite at you, do you think, “Hey, I asked for this and now that I’ve got it, what can I learn?” Not likely. You probably, if you’re like me, assume the foetal position, stick your thumb in your mouth and hope whatever is rupturing (or has already split apart) will fix itself in time for Coronation Street. In other words, no facing or accepting, just escape. Well, I don’t think that’s the right method anymore.
After years of hiding, I can’t hide anymore. My life is in the crapper in many of the more obvious ways right now, and while I’d like to pull the covers over my head, it won’t help. I have to face the facts: It (my situation) is what it is. I made it this way, so suck it up buttercup and ask for help.
Now “help” means a solution. Preferably for the long haul, but at this point, even a stop-gap would be better than nothing. Thing is, each and every day I’m growing in awareness. It’s not easy. Oh, and I’m not blaming myself – or anyone else – it just is what it is.
Most of us have plans and goals. Whether they are small or large is not the point. It’s the plan. How we fulfill our desires differs for each of us. Some of us put our intention out there and allow life to guide us toward it. Others plot a strategy and take affirmative action each day. Both move us to the same end.
I belong in the former camp. I have desires and, for the most part, have let life steer me toward them. Of course, I’ve had to put one foot in front of the other, but mostly, I live in the moment and realize after the fact that my intention was met. Lately, that strategy doesn’t seem to be working. And yet, I think it is. I know, eh? It’s just that what is happening is so subtle, I can’t even see it. And that’s where the breaking comes in.
I have to be willing to keep breaking. I am separating from old habits, language, and deeply entrenched patterns. It’s scary and unnerving, exciting and troubling. Yet, it must be done because at this stage there is no turning back. Seriously, there is no going back. I wouldn’t want it. I have broken with my past. And that point is crucial. Think about your journey and if you’re struggling, ask yourself if you would rather be in the crap-storm you came from or the one you’re in now? Hopefully, your current situation affords you greater happiness than where you came from in the past. If not, don’t bother reading any further because you won’t get this blog or most of my blogs for that matter.
So darlings, my wish for you is this: let yourself break. Go ahead. Cry and thrash about, panic and let the cold sweat wake you. But, break. When you do, feel the pain, see the fear and embrace it because if you don’t run away from it, if you don’t intervene and put a bandage on the break before it really splits, eventually you will find a whole new and improved you is on the mend. At least, that’s my wish. It’s a pretty good one, yes?