Hello! How is everyone? Goodness, I’ve been beyond neglectful of you, but trust me when I tell you how much I miss writing to you. Further, there is seldom a day that goes by when I do not try to get a note off. If, as has been too often the case, I can’t get connected, it frustrates me something awful. Still, I dutifully save the blog on my desktop in the hope I’ll use it later. Thing is, I seldom do. It just doesn’t cut it. The blog was always intended to be spur of the moment, not polished posts. For me, too, because the reflections are daily and meant to be, what I wrote yesterday is not necessarily relevant the next day. For example, I went hiking yesterday in this rough and rugged place. It was what I needed and I loved being out in the sun and warmth walking among the ancient cedars. Today, I’m at a small airport watching some friend skydive. Not sure I’ll jump, but if not today, perhaps another day. We drove to this facility, but I’ll fly back, sailing over the landscape I walked yesterday will be amazing enough.
The other day when I was talking to you about people who bite into life versus those who get bitten, I was talking specifically about some of the folks I’ve met lately. They certainly do not sit still and where once I would have been intimated by the likes of them, now I’m drinking in their enthusiasm. It is energizing and exhausting at the same time. It’s also driving home to me in this month of consideration on relationships, how compartmentalized my life is. I would prefer it to be more fluid. I would also like to accept companionship and more committed relationships when they are offered. Yes, I am well aware that my life style is not conducive, but I can work on that, too.
Our journey on this planet affords us nothing but opportunity. We stop or limit ourselves when we engage fear instead of joy. As I look back and review how I related to this person or that, it is easy to see not only how foolish I often was, but how afraid I was, too. I was afraid they would leave me, or misunderstand me, or tell me lies. Rather than let them have the upper hand, I would do exactly those things but blame them saying, “See. I told you, so.” Now, not so much. Yes, I still leave, but I am not running. I work diligently to be understood; but, only when it truly matters. As for the lies, I am more honest with each passing day.
I guess, if the above is to be believed, I’m successfully working through some deeper issues which is really good. Even better, I am working through this stuff in tandem – others are helping me with care and patience. They are helping guide me toward a new sweetness that comes from relationships. How lovely and appropriate as the month is coming to a close and a new topic must be chosen. It is comforting knowing this subject no longer twists me into knots.
Wishing you enough faith to trust in others. Wishing you enough love of self to know unquestionably that others want the best for you and want to help you be your best. Wishing you courage to let go and simply trust that you have your back – yes, you do!