Accept

This last move took a toll on me. In spite of it all, I feel good and I’m happy. Seeing my beautiful western daughter and sweetest pea of a granddaughter in this diverse city with its awe inspiring views and fresh mountain air is a blessing, but I’m worn out. Not physically, oddly, but in every other way. Today, I realised I’ve been holding a lot of resistance over having to leave England. The realisation helped bring my energy up a bit which is maybe why I’m writing tonight. I’ve just been too tired since leaving Ireland. In fact, the last attempt was in the restaurant at my hotel in Calgary. The post would have been decent, too, but I somehow deleted it which is what I get for working on my phone. Anywho, it’s all okay. In fact, it’s all more than okay and I’ve remained calm, cool, and even a bit collected. What’s missing is the inclination to write. Thankfully, stories are lining up in my head. It’s just that even now it’s a struggle to put something down. I’m not concerned, though, because the wheels are turning and ideas crystallising. The break, however brief, might actually be working some magic for me.

My wish tonight is for unconditional acceptance. This is a tough one. When things are not what we want them to be, when people are not as we expect them to be, we redefine them in our mind. We say “If only they would drink less, quit smoking, do this, or do that, they would be happier, better.” Hm. Maybe they would be, but it’s us that would be happier because we are displeased by their actions. We are judging, not accepting the person without placing conditions on them and by default, us. If I truly love another person, I love them exactly as they are in that moment. Period. Yep, unconditional is tough but if I expect to be loved as I am, I’d better start trying to return the favour.

Until tomorrow…