I haven’t been out the last couple of days. The weather’s been great, but the days have passed while I try to sort out me life yet again. More change is a foot and I need to make some tough decisions.
After couch surfing for roughly five years, I’ve decided it’s time to stop. I need a base; a permanent address. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop travelling about. On the contrary, I’ve become rather competent at that, but I need the stability offered by a home despite thinking the concept is overrated and abused.
When writing about money, I touched on the phenomenon of “house poor”. A person who fits the description spends too much of their total income on their home or property. I see this so often! And it doesn’t have to be money spent on a house. It might be a car, or shoes, or too much partying. Whatever money is spent, after a closer look, it’s disproportionate. There’s no balance. The result is that when something comes up like an opportunity to travel, or help a friend, there’s no money, or so we tell ourselves. It’s not really about money at all. It’s about the story we tell ourselves and the choice we make to suit the story. Change the story, change the choice.
I’ve learned a lot about this behaviour lately. It’s something I have done, and still do but am gradually breaking free of. It’s not attractive. It’s also short-sighted and small. I’m none of those things, unless behaving in ways that make me that way, so will change because it feels good to do so.
Addiction is like that, isn’t it? We continue to act in ways that are not pretty. When confronted with a chance to step up and do something brave, we fall back saying we don’t know what to do because we’re afraid to take a risk. We stay addicted to the excuse. It’s safe. It’s easy.
Of course, I would not advocate going against your gut feeling, either. But, if you don’t feel good, take a look at why. It might take a while to discern what’s making you uncomfortable. Meditation quickens the discernment process, by the way, just so you know.
And so I’m wishing for the gift that is meditation. Sitting with the breath, finding the place of inner silence, brings such peace and quiet, clarity and calm. It is the route to you; a you that is brave, supported by an invisible rope that runs through you keeping you straight, connected, and balanced. (Thanks, SH!) Om.