Money Number 9

BikeI’ve slipped again. If you’re wondering why it’s because Friday night is a social one here. I know that, of course, but failed to plan ahead. Lesson learned. Next week, I’ll be posting earlier in the day. Anywho, on with yesterday’s post, today. Hehe.

Wandering aimlessly is something I seem to have talent for. Hours pass while I sit, or stroll, considering the world from whatever vantage point is mine at the moment. From a man in black on a park bench focussed intently on his phone, to a child learning to ride a two-wheeler, people hand me new stories. Nature’s effects are different but equally diverting. A babbling brook can slow my blood pressure; a blackbird’s song can lift my mood. Cerebral, I need to get out of my own head, so watching as well as listening helps me do just that. Thing is, I don’t do it enough even though it is so very good for me.

Doing what feels good can often be challenging. Why is that? Many peeps do what is right but does it make them feel good? That might seem like an odd question, but think about it this way. Right is viscous. What’s right for me might not be right for you so I owe it to myself to find my right. Ah, but there’s the crux. When I find what’s right for me, why do I not hold tight to it, keep doing it? Worse yet, I can admit to walking away from the stuff that is right to do something that hurts me. Behaving that way makes little sense and begs the question: Are destructive patterns a type of addiction? I’ve addictions on my list so won’t explore that angle right now, but I can see how this line of thought influences me and my money.

For most of my adult life, I’ve had a hard time spending money on certain things and it’s irksome. Here’s an example. I can find the cash to buy a few pints, but squirm paying far less to take a wonderful yoga class. I know! It makes no sense. In the last few posts I’ve discussed how this is likely true of many of us, however, because of the way we speak about money, how we feel we’ve never enough and cannot ever have enough so there’s always a shortage. I’ve been addressing the language I use around the whole money thing for quite a while now, but writing about it is forcing me to consider my more convoluted attitudes around it, too.

I don’t like being in debt. I am in debt. I resent paying my debt. (There’s that sense of entitlement rearing its head!) Rewrite in process. I enjoyed spending the money to buy whatever it was I bought that put me in debt. Isn’t it a luxury to be able to have the option to borrow? Because I am a responsible person who wants to continue to have the flexibility credit affords, I happily pay off my debt! End of scene.

Wishing for gratitude tonight. When I’m grateful for everything I’m abundant. It’s really that simple.

Until tomorrow…

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