Smooth to wrinkled…

Hands.jpgI read over that blog I previously mentioned not wanting to post and, well, it’s still not gonna get posted. Will it? Well, here’s the thing. A part from being overtly candid, the writing of it isn’t flowing and, of course, this blog is, if nothing else, about flow. So, in keeping with tradition, as rivers do, I’ll run with another topic tonight. What that’ll be, however, is still up in the air.

[Humming the tune from Jeopardy at this point.]

Still nothing. Wait… no… false alarm.

This is what it’s like coming up with ideas for me more than I’d like to admit. Of course, when on my meditation pillow, my quieted mind journeys to distant lands, brings about world peace, rebuilds derelict castles, and rides bareback across rolling hills. The images never cease; the thoughts beat like my heart. Once roused from mindful retreat, I race to to turn those idyllic snippets into fully formed stories, however, there’s barely the memory of the snippet left to turn to. Why does that happen? It’s not uncommon, nevertheless it is frustrating. Oh, but I shouldn’t complain. Truth be told it is the only frustration I have so it’s not a biggie in the grand scheme. I suppose I could wax about the weather which hasn’t been the best. Nah, I’ll spare you. Ah, food! Let’s chat and let the crumbs fall where they may.

I’ve been happily faithful to a pretty stunning diet these last months. About 90% + vegan now and very little in the way of grains, so virtually no gluten. My treat is fries now which is better than the attachment I had to pain au chocolate. Pastries I do not miss at all. That written, I’m not going to deprive myself if I want one. As a result, I’m not stressed about what I eat and my weight is as low as it has been. (Oh, that noted, I will do another photo of the belly to prove it in a few weeks.)

I’ve also been attending a yoga flow class once a week and although not hiking as much as I should, I do walk here much more than is standard for me anywho. All good. I’m considering hiring a PT for a short time to see if I can speed things up, get rid of these last ten pounds and challenge myself to see if I can’t be consistent with exercise. Tough for me. I like to sit. I’m a sitter. I’m a proficient sitter. In fact, I’ve got sitting sown up so would like to become a proficient mover. I can do it. Yes, I can.

Wishing tonight for the courage to live in the moment especially as it pertains to aging. Part of these past months was to attend to the language of aging and that’s been successful, but seeing is believing. I have to stop looking. When I’m busy, I’ve little time to notice, but then I catch my skin in the corner of my eye. It is ‘old’ skin, parchment like, and it depresses me when I notice it. But my skin is not who I am, right? For sure, I know the affirmations. How do I get past it? I’m not sure which is why I’m wishing for courage.

Until tomorrow…




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