Had a bit of a revelation on the issue of release and decide I prefer to call it transformation. I like the sound of the word and its meaning. It’s the metamorphosis saga which makes me smile. From this point on, I’ll be transforming myself. Bring on the butterflies!
A new friend invited me to a late lunch this past Sunday. I accepted not knowing what I’d find when I arrived. To my surprise, I knew about half of the quests. My new friend is accomplished and always surrounded by people. She’s a movie in countless acts, charming and generous, flitting about her set and reading her lines with confidence. Her friends are interesting to a fault, well travelled and educated. I enjoyed the afternoon immensely remembering how I like that type of banter. To tell the truth, I had little to add and at times had to boost myself up when listening to talk of Zanibar’s slave quarters and snorkling in Papua New Guinea, but I admired rather than judged so got on well. It did get me to thinking, though. Surprise, surprise.
A great deal of my life has been spent rejecting and resisting life. Many of the choices I made were from fear. I regret all of that but am gradually coming to terms. Each day, I doggedly cling to the desire to transform the fear into love – love of self firstly, then others. I worry a bit that I’m contributing less than nothing to the world, but because I feel that way, the answer is to get out, get involved, and – well – contribute! Worry serves absolutely no purpose. And, after all, I’m still breathing so there might just be time to deal constructively with that pile of regrets.
My wish today, on this special day of the summer solstice and a full moon (won’t happen again until 2062) is to always hold space for others. We are so distracted today, our heads off someplace, our thoughts busied with stuff. It’s too easy to forget people. Not just our family, either. Family can be an easy diversion or a convenient way out. But keeping space for others requires attention to ourselves. It means quieting the voices. It means listening. It means letting go of any preconceptions and simply holding space so another human being can rest there. It is sacred, miraculous, and a grace filled opportunity for all concerned.