Addictions are a funny thing. We tend to link the word to alcohol or gambling, but addictions are not always so insidious in nature. Anything that puts us out of whack, lets our reptilian brain rule the moment, could be called an addiction. I mean if you’re feeling great about yourself and positive about life, you’d not want to mess it up by overdoing something. Or would you?
The reason I’m talking about this is because I recently spoke with someone who while competent and capable is locked up in chasing the elusive ‘right’. I recognized it quickly because I’m known to suffer with a similar malady. Who really gives a shit about ‘right’ and is there really one anywho? There is if you think there is and goodness knows a lot of folks are determined to be right, do it right, and get it right.
Love means never having to say ‘I’m right’. (That line is mine, a spin-off from the classic movie, Love Story, and how I wish it were true.) Some of us spend our entire lives in search of elusive ideas of what right is. And of course, there are some givens. Sort of, but not really. We do call some things ‘trees’ and certain things ‘rivers’ and we sit in something called a ‘chair’. That chair, river, or tree could have been a box, car, or flower because, after all, we named them in the first place, but for all intents and purposes, in this form at this time, there are some givens. Semantics are tricky, though, aren’t they? Even though we think ourselves pretty smart, there’s a lot of different meanings conveyed in even the simplest phrases. So we have to be careful and maybe let go of the need to be ‘right’.
Being right can be addictive. As mentioned, people do things to chase it. But here’s the thing. It’s a perspective most of the time. Your right might not be someone else’s. As a long time researcher, one thing I’m sure of is that people can find back up for just about anything they want to believe. Does it make it right? In somebody’s head, yes, it does. So why give up being right? Because when you’re busy chasing right, you end up separating yourself from anyone and everyone you need to prove not right. You’re not hearing because you’re not listening. And you certainly can’t keep your heart open when you’re off being right.
So I’m wishing tonight for us to find a way to release the need to be right. I want to become hyper aware of patterns of false pride and belligerence so I can surrender them and keep my heart open. It is a way towards peace. And hey, if I can stop chasing right, I might just notice someone else’s human frailty and be able to reach out and truly help.