Have you ever found yourself on the edge where you feel that the next step, the next minute or day will surely change your entire life in all your best imagined ways? Your heart pounds and you find yourself unable to sleep because of the anticipation and excitement building in your breast. You want nothing more than to ride the wave of momentum for whatever plan needs implementing next, or whatever desire seems about to manifest. Some might caution you, warn against what they perceive a rash decision or unrealistic expectation with phrases like, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is”. And you want to prove them wrong, but instead, you prove them right by stepping back from the edge and putting a stop to the momentum. Over time, you write a story which explains why it all went wrong and how it has caused you great sorrow. You spin it around and around with truth and fiction blended into a seamless tapestry of rationalizations.
I suppose many of us do that, either bits of it or all. I suppose we blame a set of circumstances or another person. We find a dozen reasons for stepping back. We get sick, we find an obligation that distracts us and on and on. Whatever we say, the real truth is that we are the only ones responsible. We decide to step away. Only us.
Today I felt the stirrings of those wonderful feelings I’ll call the blossoming of anticipation though for what, I cannot say. True, they are familiar feelings. I have had them often. What is also true is that I have quelled them often, too. Why? Fear. Simply fear. But I’m not afraid anymore.
One of my dearest friends and a treasured advisor reminded me today that balance is important. He is right. We should ensure our three brains are working harmoniously before we run to something. Yes, we have three – in our gut, heart and head. All three will keep us moving toward happiness when balanced. In time and with practice, we can learn to act as if by instinct when the heart calls us, though, for it is usually in the lead when it comes to a challenge. Oh dear. But our feelings will not lie. If we follow what ‘feels’ best, we are making the right decision. Logic may cause us to doubt, but if we feel deep within that we’ve something to do, we should do it. Just ask Tesla, Marie Curie, and Martin Luther King, et cetera. Sometimes following the crowd is not the best choice.
My wish tonight is for determination. Many times I faced the brightness of an opportunity and many times I closed my eyes to the light. But no more. There is much momentum and much can happen in a very short time if I but ride the energy of that momentum. There is great change afoot, big shifts occurring. Keep the faith. Buy some sunglasses if you need to, but do not close your eyes. And if you’re afraid, call a friend or ten. There are those ready to help. I am determined to follow my heart and be the change I want to see, determinedly. I know you are, too.