Tomorrow is my western daughter’s birthday. I will be there celebrating in spirit. Right now, I’m remembering the day we met all those years ago. It was magical for me, looking down at the perfect pinkness of her skin against the dark hair. This gorgeous cherub in my arms was singlehandedly expanding my heart so much so I thought it would burst from me. Tears flowed with…love, I suppose. I don’t know another word that betters explains it. And, of course, I felt certain no other person on the planet had every felt such unmitigated joy.
Being a mother is a blessing. No doubt about it. I’ve been neither the best nor the worst at it. There are things I’d like to do over if given that chance. But in my defence, and with all honesty, I know I tried my best. Being a mother is a blessing. It’s not always easy, though. No doubt about it.
I write a lot about love in my posts, how it heals, how it is all we need. Reflecting on a mother’s love and with Valentine’s Day coming next Sunday, it seems appropriate to define more clearly my meaning when using the noun.
It is capital “L” love I refer to rather than the derivations lazy humans apply to it. Capital “L” love has no conditions, survives all holocausts, forgives all atrocities, and reverberates for eternity. I do not believe there is an ultimate love any more than there is a bounded love, for it is always and forever transcendent. Do I profess to practice this ideal? Of course. Do I succeed? Of course not. Do I keep trying? Yes. And that’s the best any of us can do.
A wise psychiatrist once told me we are born asking for love and if given it, we flourish. If love is denied, we do not thrive until we are able to choose to. For years I heard his words echo in my head before they began to flower. Their message seems simple to me now. He was expressing why there are differences in us and why some of us fly sooner than others. He wasn’t vilifying anyone, only saying the goal is always to seek out love even if you’re not sure what it looks like. Because it was not given when it “should” have been does not mean it is not there. It just means your path to finding it might be a long and winding road with some scary monsters along the route.
Thankfully, my daughter’s wee one will know love. Hopefully it will help her take to the skies early so that she can soar as we all want to do.
So let’s all wish for love, the kind that freely given is readily received into a heart that turns it around to pay it forward. And so on, and so on, and so on.