It’s too easy to slip into old ways of being. I find I’m doing it lately with food. Over these past maybe four or five days I’ve eaten more bready stuff than one human being should. Today, I started back in on the cookies. Sugar. AND, I’ve been putting cow’s milk in my coffee. What AM I THINKING?
Starches from processed grains and sugar, not to mention dairy, make me ache. Seriously. I mean, besides the whole ethical issue around the dairy industry, those food stuffs don’t do me any favours. *sigh*. So, the question is, “Why am I eating them with such wild abandon?”
There’s a shop between where I live and where I work that is a boutique food market. They sell lovely fresh produce as well as a unique array of in-house prepared foods like pizzas, dinner entrees, and the like. Their bakery makes these little buns they’ve named ‘breakfast loaf’. Essentially it is ciabatta style bread infused with cranberries and chocolate chips. It might sound boring, but this shop has managed to combine bread and sweet chewy bits perfectly to create a scrumptious little delicacy.
Now, when I write “little” I do not mean single morsel size. No. This thing is substantial and takes several big bites to consume. With a cuppa-something it’s absolutely yummy. I might go so far as to suggest it is comfort food. And, one should be plenty. ‘Should’ being the operative word there because I have taken to eating, or more accurately inhaling, more than one at a time. And, I crave one now. It’s probably official – I’m addicted. But really, is it all that bad?
The answer is, no. In the big scheme, no. I am so lucky to be able to pop into this lovely place and buy these tasty, bready treats. AND, they make me happy! Okay, over-indulging is not healthy, but I’m not hoarding them. I enjoy the odd one on occasion. So why am I giving myself grief over this? Habit.
It’s difficult for me to fully enjoy anything without tempering the good feelings with guilt. Enjoyment leads to destruction of mind and soul, so anything that gives me pleasure must be bad for me. Austerity is the name of the game for me to achieve Zen. Ah-ha! That’s NOT RIGHT!
Living fully means letting go (there’s those two words again) of guilt and loving oneself enough to simply do what’s best. If I see myself as a divine thing, a part of the omnipresent and wondrous cosmos, I know what I need to flourish and thrive. Indeed, I might need to get quiet to hear and discern sometimes, but the message is there – always. It’s not magic, it is miraculous. We do know.
So my wish tonight is that we find our own breakfast loaf and eat it with zeal. No regrets! The body doesn’t need, nor do you really want to abuse it with more than it should have. Savour each bite and with humility and gratitude be thankful.