Today was especially sweet, starting after a good night’s sleep. Don’t ya just love those, the night’s when you sleep well, I mean? Since giving up all shapes and colours of booze, my sleep is better. My diet is also simpler which helps, too, methinks. For more years than I know because I didn’t keep track, I woke every two hours. You could set your watch by my pattern and it was getting to me. But finally, I’m sleeping and it feels really, really good. Of course, it’s not every night, not yet, but I’m working on that.
One sublime sub-text of a deep slumber are the dreams that show up. I adore dreaming. I think I’ve already mentioned my first psychologist was Jungian and therapy evolved via a discussion of my dreams. I learned tons as you might imagine. At some point, however, I gave up on analysing my dream narratives and subsequently stopped keeping track of them. I’m not suggesting I’m remotely ready to do either yet, but can feel the desire to get back there. I know it will help with my exploration of ye olde subconscious connection to some not-so-helpful triggers and the like. It’s been decades, but I’m pretty sure I remember enough to give it a go when I’m ready.
All this talk of dreams is making me tired. LOL
I wrote quite a bit today and am increasingly pleased with the content. Wow, who would have thunk? It’s only taken me twenty years. You can’t know (or maybe you can) what it’s going to feel like to write, The End. Fair enough, I’m months away from that, but it is happening. I mean, when I started this re-do, I had no idea what I was getting into and here we are, over 200 posts!!! Some have been better than others, and there’s been some vlogs along the way, too, but the real point is, I’ve done it. I’ve posted every day for over 200 days.
There has been repetition, yes. It’s not like I’m writing uniquely inspired discourses of between 500 and 700 words every night, but when I re-read all these at some point down the road, I hope at least a few of them will have been worthwhile in both thought and word. But hey, I’m not looking for accolades, just pondering, is all.
So, my wish tonight is for determination. When your heart is calling you into the woods, as it were, it can be challenging and oh-so-hard to keep your focus. Being determined to finish something, or start something, is good. We all know what it feels like to purge, yeah? Sometimes it is a big job! But if we keep our determination keen, we can clear that closet, clean that shed, and re-purpose a whack of stuff we’re not using. I’m determined to clear away anything and everything that is holding me back, or cluttering my vision. It might not be super easy, but the results will be super great.
Determinedly until tomorrow…