Sleepy musings…

Peter Pan Wendy Flying 1953So, there’ll be no book excerpt tonight. It’s 8 PM, I’ve just finished supper, and am suddenly really beat! It’s probably the food combos I devoured at this hour after not eating all day, but whatever the cause of the fatigue, producing legible, meaningful text for the story takes more energy than I currently have. Yes, it takes a lot of steam. How am I writing this then, you might be asking? Well, this is more like talking with a friend only with a take-back button. Anywho, I apologize about the book, but will get back to it.

Another niggly drag is that I have to go out to post this because I’ve used up my hosts’ allotted Internet for the month. I KNOW! Unreal. But, it is what it is and I’ll have to slip out to Timmies for a steeped tea and free flowing WiFi before meditation and blessed sleep. Lovely, eh? Oh well, it’s not that bad, or rather, it wouldn’t be if I weren’t so tired. Pardon? Did I hear someone say, “Oh for the love of…quit your belly-aching and write the blog!” Alright already, stop snarking at me. 🙂

I mentioned yesterday – was it just yesterday? – that I had things I wanted to fill you all in on. For starters, I’m getting my energy back even if tonight’s not a great example. But I am gradually feeling better, my head is clearer and I’m sort of back to myself, whoever that is. One thing I’ve realized is this move has to get done. I said that to T at yoga, “I’m over the planning and talking. It’s time to move.” Sounds easy enough, is super easy to write, but way harder than you might think to accomplish. It will happen, though. In my mind, it is happening.

It’s good to feel that I want it again, too. For the last couple of weeks, for whatever reason, I wobbled big time and wondered a lot of things from, can I do this to should I do this? My head felt heavy and my heart wasn’t in the process. It feels much better to be enthusiastic again, that’s for sure.

Over all, it seems another storm has passed by. Why I end up partially or even fully submerged with these persistent mood changes, I’ve no real idea. Is it the sun, the moon, the tide influencing me in some metaphysical way? Is it negative energy I’ve not protected myself from? Could be one, or all of the above. All I know is that I’m learning as much, maybe more, than I ever thought possible, and it feels good. Really good.

Before I make my wish for tonight, I want to ask a question. Have you stayed true to the child you were? Be more specific, you ask? Well, when little, did you feel powerful, invincible, like you could fly if given the tools? Did you see yourself dancing at the Met, discussing theories with Stephen Hawking, or astronauting into infinity and beyond? Even if your childhood was marred by one horror or another caused by vicious, tainted adults, you still had a voice inside whispering sweet nothings of hope and extolling your courage, yes? So, here’s the question again. Have you stayed true to the child you were?

My wish is for all of us to embrace the innocence and playful exuberance we once had. No, do not hold up an example of a child whose soul was twisted in utero. They have their own soul-contract and there truly are not that many. However, if that is you, I’m sorry and hope you can find peace. For the rest of us, our little person danced in puddles, hugged with wild abandon, and believed in magic. I ask with all my heart that you reach out to that child and simply remember.

Until tomorrow…

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