I really need to stop whining about the same old stuff so am going to infuse some fresh air tonight. Before opening the window, however, I want to thank the folks who sent encouraging notes. I’m still waffling, sadly. Today was the first day I actually said to myself, “What the hell am I doing?” I’m suddenly bubbling over with doubt and thinking, “Why now?” My best friend gave me a big hug when I spilled to her, and she said, “You’ve chased this dream for at least ten years. Maybe you’re afraid reality won’t live up to the dream? Well, you won’t know until you take the leap.” Goddesses are so wise, yes? But hey, I promised new horizons, so without further ado…
Let’s talk about muppets. How much do you love them? Minions pale in comparison to Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Miss Piggy et al. I mean come on, what kind of mind thinks this stuff up? Of course, they were all born on Sesame Street so Oscar, Big Bird, the controversial Bert and Ernie, Elmo and Grover are part of the fuzzy soup. Colourful, iconic creatures whose personalities were delicately crafted to mimic the best of our natures – mostly. Developed with super-human puppet-making skill, they taught us more than real humans ever could. Henson was pure genius, but left the planet too soon. I imagine he’s back already, however. Perhaps he’s master minding a robot with feelings in this incarnation. Or maybe he’s cooking up a stew in a Swedish restaurant. Either way, his energy lives on just as mine and yours will. Best be sure my energy is worthy.
Sometimes I fret and voice jealous, poor-me sentiments like, “so, I’m no Oprah”. I’ve used lame excuses about not having JK’s imagination, or Austen’s motivation, for not working on my book. I’ve told myself it’s already been written by somebody else who at least showed up and did the deed. Gosh, what a time waster that thinking is. I’ve squandered a lot of time, and talent, with a lot of excuses. Few are original. But this re-do has me looking at this stuff from a slightly different angle.
I’ll never be, nor am I meant to be, JK Rowling or Oprah Winfrey. Frances – Mary Elizabeth – Sullivan is who I am and who I was meant to be this time around. I’ve screwed-up with superb precision, over and over again, but that’s not what I want to be remembered for. So I best get changing some attitudes.
Years ago, I remember saying I wanted to be a kind, gentle and thoughtful crone. We’ve all met curmudgeonly old folks who for some reason feel they’ve a right to be nasty, short-sighted, and belligerent. I’ve also been privileged to meet holy people whose time here has tempered their heat and smoothed their rough edges. They graciously share their wisdom and smiles. That’s the crone I hope to be.
My wish tonight is to understand gratitude intimately. Quantum physics suggests that if, on a subconscious level we accept and embrace what we have (whether we like it or not), we put ourselves in a position to release our focus from what we have, and allow ourselves energetically to focus on what we would like to be and have. We then attract more of what we soulfully desire. Seems pretty clear. If I am grateful for everything in my life in this moment in time, I free up space for even more possibilities. Yep. A home of my own, a finished book, and more Muppets. That’s a good start. So grateful.