I’ve no answer but I do have a solution which is to get back to reading, for one thing. Another is to rekindle my relationship with my love-bug, Thesaurus. Lately, we’ve let distractions prevent us from spending quality time together. Note to self: Book date nights with Thesi.
I know there is a lot going on in the world and it would be less than ridiculous to pretend I don’t have opinions about this, or that. Hell, after reading the writings of Mahatma Gandhi in my early teens I became a professed pacifist and vegetarian and remain both. I marched against the war in Viet Nam and for civil rights. I was a member of Greenpeace in the early days of its inception, and Amnesty is still my go to authority when assessing any foreign regime. I lead with a heart that always beats for the disenfranchised, and marginalized voiceless. When choosing a line of formal study, Women’s Studies won out. Walking a straight line wasn’t my way.
As I read the list above and mentally add to it, I recognise that I strayed over the years, and in an effort to fit in, colluded with the mainstream. Thing is, when I looked in the mirror then, I neither recognized nor liked the image staring back at me. However, it’s okay. I’m coming to accept it all because I did learn a great deal about resistance, fear, and my own false pride in those years of wandering. I don’t mind looking in the mirror anymore.
I do not stand on the picket line, placard in hand now, though. I don’t gather in basement rooms and rage against this government, or that industry anymore. That I am not as outspoken an activist as I once was is not from any lack of awareness, or concern, but rather it stems from a shift in understanding personal responsibility. My approach is very different now than it was once upon a time, and yet it is more in keeping with my first teachers. A completed circle? Perhaps.
My wish tonight was said by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do, is in harmony.”
Is this an achievable balance? With purposeful intention and dedication to the trying, I’ll stick to a “yes” answer. It would require a great deal of thoughtful effort and attention for me to gain harmony, but I’m willing to try.