Perspective. It means a particular point of view. For most of my life I wondered why everyone didn’t see “it” (whatever “it” might be) my way. Finding like minded people was challenging. And while I’m not exactly sure why that was the case, it no longer is. Still, some points of view are easy to “get”, yeah? Others leave me speechless. Over time I’ve tried to delve into my misunderstanding of perspective and broaden its scope adding a compassionate lens when possible. However, I’m still stumped by certain points of view more than I’d like to be. That written, I continue to expand my understanding of what it means when I find myself confused by the viewpoint of another.
Take for example, bios. I read countless ones when in the business of writing for businesses. What I found generally is that there are only two types of bios; honest and spun. The latter, I always struggled with. When putting my words in print, I needed them to be linguistically accurate – from grammar to fact. So polishing a truthful bio, putting a sheen on the written image of that client, was easy and fun. But, I walked away from many a bio filled with spin.
You might be asking yourself why I’m using the word spun and spin instead of lie. Well, it’s perspective, yeah? A bio is most often constructed based on a point of view of things. Sure, if I can actually prove they didn’t defend their thesis and therefore are not really a PhD, I could use the word liar, but…see what I mean? All the little twists and turns that make up a life are viewed differently depending on the viewer. I suppose that’s why working with a curriculum vitae is easier. Just the facts, mam.
So where am I going with all this? Well, as my own tragic heroine persona dissolves into the ether, I find myself asking, “Can I still write without all the false stories, all the made-up dramas?” Angst can be an integral part of the creative process, but is it a prerequisite? I’m going to write NO because my gut’s telling me to. (By the way, my gut just told me to go buy a lottery ticket. Seriously.) But facing my own dishonesty is painful.
I’ve patterned a lot of dishonesty into my nature. It hurts me to admit that, but it’s true. On the other hand, I know in my heart that this less than desirable habit was honed because my point of view told me I needed to do something to be noticed. Why? I wanted, just like all of us, to be loved. And yes, I mimicked others whose grand histrionics seemed to bear fruit. I thought, “I can do that!” For me, though, it didn’t bear the kind of fruit needed to sustain body and soul for the long haul. Why? Because it wasn’t my truth. And any “love” formed by this method did not speak to authenticity in my heart. Does it make my past wrong, or worse, bad? Certainly not! In spite of everything, I still found love, and bore wonderful fruit. But, it is time to alter certain patterns, up the ante, and change my point of view.
So my wish today is for honestly looking at honesty. What is your perspective of your own honesty? In other words, what does being honest mean to you? Does it start with you? Or, is it the realm of the ‘other’? If you’ve answered yes to the latter question, it might be that you struggle with honesty, honestly. For others behaviour is always only a reflection of our own. What we perceive externally is always our own mirror. Think about it. It’s a tough one, but it is, in fact, another point of view.